Of bits and a little more | rivermaiden's Blog
They are there on the social networking site ..only he isint. The ones that hurt him. And I cant see his endearing smile or the witty lines that used to pop up from time to time on the screen anymore.
Why did I ever hurt the ones I did? Didnt I know how it feels? And why did they hurt him? Why him? Why on earth? At least I deserved some of my pain, he never ever did. Why cant I bear it,so much so that instead of supporting him I need to stay away.
The words came out all wrong I told him I wish I could heal him. I couldnt tell him I cant bear to see him in pain. I cant be in love but its not sympathy either but then thats what he thinks, that I feel bad for him. I couldnt .. couldnt ...just couldnt tell him. The words never came out. Tears did. But the right words never formed no matter how many times how hard I tried.
I wish I could heal a bit, I wish I could love a bit.. bit yes a bit.. he asked me whats a bit...or why a bit? lol how would he ever know how much much it takes to say the bit part let alone more. I have known 'more' , explored the depths of 'more' and 'more' scares me. What if my 'more' brings more pain, messes up and fails to heal? What if 'more' is not good enough?
I am okay with a bit, I am okay with letting go. But I'm not okay with his struggles. Let him start over, and be happy. The scars would fade away in time, would he remember me then? I guess I will never know. Unanswered questions dont keep me awake any longer. Only his anguish does.
There are no comments on this post yet, be the first to leave one!
Previous Postsget burnt but dont burn another, posted November 7th, 2012
Of bits and a little more, posted November 7th, 2012
The Spectator, posted November 4th, 2012
Sex - lots of it and the lack of it, posted October 30th, 2012
The strayed hermit, posted October 30th, 2012
When you miss the train I'm on, posted October 30th, 2012
BlogrollHere are some friends' blogs...
HelpEmbed Photos Embed Videos
Caption of the Day
A fun new caption image each day. Winners get trophies and points.
Play and Vote Now!